Life

Hammer, Nails, Earth, Light

We were, weren’t we?
The opening power chord of the concert,
the thing that deafens the crowd as they cheer for it.

Perhaps, over time
(even in the beat and the offbeat, I feel this),
it’s more like a jazz quartet,
finding all the right grace-notes.

I mean, really- think about it. Just think of it!
All the kitchens in the world no two ever danced in.
What a waste.

But then, I too have shunned life’s gifts,
running headfirst into the wind,
my back to the sun, my face to the shadows.

How they tell us to be. And how we become.

The beat of the heart, of the drum? No. Not for you.

NOT FOR YOU

But, wait, wait… I soared wildly into the night once,
and there among the confusions and hellfires-
there, a lighthouse in this sea of blackness.

How could I not change my tack?
What else would call so brightly?
There is, in fact, an answer.
My own compass, imparted at birth,
long forgotten,
was pressed into my hand.

“I lost my way once, as well,” she said.

These things new and forgotten
were merely of the harmonic,
of the consonant, of life and death;
and of our wings,
which always grow back given the right medicine.

If you’re reading this, whoever you are,
I hope at least once you know
the salvation hidden in the least-expected soul.

You think you know love-
until you actually know love.

We rise out of the ground- all of us
-for a moment (a moment!),
looking up wildly into the stars,
daring the infinite,
before we descend together back down into the earth.

So speak it then, all you-
speak my apostasy into the airwaves.

Even more than this,
more than the perfect publicity,
more than the grand overtures,
more even than these comforts,

I would ask of nothing but her grace.

For which is better?

The glass of whiskey,
smashed on the floor in the back of the bar,
the fire in the eyes,
the unsaid unsaid UNSAID,
the staring each other down in the midst of the storm?
The endless slow-death?
(all this does lay foundations, it’s true)

Or… the hand, laid upon the other’s head,
in those moments when all hope seems lost?
(do you see?)

The fire has purged us both, then;
and whoever you are-
if you’re reading this,
remember what I said on the other side:

I could curse the darkness we both walked through;
but far better in this, I think,
whatever the road,
is to build a house made of her light.

An Elegy of Leaves

Hours and hours,
and hours
into the woods-

through the rainfall,
the sunpierce,
the pine and spruce;
off the trail
of the acorn and ash,
of the prairie lily,
of light and water dancing
on needles and leaves;
past the hidden spring,
yawning cavern,
past limestone spires
and granite punctured
up from the heart of the earth;
in the forest and veldt
of the snake and the lark,
and the ram and the elk.

Your lungs are thirsty,
your heart, hungry,
your mind, tired- no?

And so we pass
into the land of the gods
of life and death.

But what else to be said?
What else,
as we tread perdition
through our doctrine of the night,
seeking a horizon reckoning?
What verdict given?

Shall I say,
“hold your sins & dreams
as you would your breath,
hold them now
until the coming dawn!”

?

No.
It is all ashen
and ground to dust.

Even if you cannot see
that the flame
I carry in my heart
could burn this place clear,
I still must lay it
before this living altar.

Listen.
Birds are singing in the thicket.

There is more music,
deeper in,
deeper still.
There hums a resonation.

What else, then?
What else to offer beyond this-
this sad
and staggering presumption
that I can somehow relay
this sanctification
to you
in words,
as though I have the skill,
and the right?

For I am no priest
and this place
has no need of one.

Here then-
let me lay down a permanence
for you,
and in full artistic grace,
describe instead
the peace
and eternity of this place:

I wish you were here.

Feast of Light

(the song my mother taught me)
__________________________________

Yea, though I walk
through the valley
of the shadow of Death,

and you lament your simple self,
and shed tears in your unadornment-

wait,

for I too have cursed my own shadow.

So let us instead consider
things that carve and pierce,
let us feel the ground
upon which we stand,
for you only know the walking dead
by their tranquility,
and the truly content
by their graves.

Speak to me your nightprayers.
And watch.

We will learn of knots
and grindstones,
of prows and lathes,
of ecstasy​, of aurescence,
of momentum.

Let me then become
the bride of the earth,
and the groom of ships
that plow the rising waves;
let me be as one
who stalks and slays fear,
who preys upon the darkness,
who bathes in the falconfall
coup de grace of our prisons,
who devours
the terror in midnight
that chews and rends and swallows
your soul.

Let me sit then at the table
with your demons-
see how I’ve prepared a place
for them.

Now,
pay attention,

for the night is flayed open,
and the maw widens in hunger.

Can you learn to tack into the wind?
Can you sail into the storm’s embrace?
Can you carve the roil,
and bring your sails unfurled,
riding this deathsong
to strike through thunder’s inertia?

This is the only way I know
to cut off the black hand
that holds your heart,
for I can see your song;
it carries out
past the edge of lightning
sunset into glory.

My dear,
your heart is a spear,
and a compass-needle;
your soul is a sailor,
young and bold,
come to spit in the Devil’s eye;
you are Incarnate,
you are Destiny.

From here, the stars.
From here, the stars.

artist credit requested

1.618034

I have offered up my lamentations
out of the dust of Eden
and painted them into the night.

I have trodden stars underfoot
and crushed them
into the wine of singularities.

(so my younger self told me in a dream,
reaching forward in the temporal
as I now enter the embrace of the world
and age into my slavery)
I’d pay good money to hear what yours told you.

Shall we build a fire then, in this desolation,
and brand me with the aspect of shadow?
How shall we brand you?

If Pride were ground into powder,
I suspect it could then be an anointing
upon this corruption;
perhaps even an atonement-
simple enough, yes?

Enough.

Show me then-
come, show me,
while there is still some serenity;
let us examine your engines of the dark
and the nightmare-fuel within
(are you watching closely?
energy equals matter
times the speed of light squared).

Drift you now to the far shores,
sleep, and dream,
drift with your own permission-
for a song of this magnitude radiant
shall fly only to constellations;
was meant only for the season of sowing.

Do you not see how alive you are?
And do we have an according then, you & I?

For as I see all hands open
in these songs of light and dark,
and music woven out of silence cleansed
in the cloudwalk ascendant,
purified in the cosmotic night,
washed in the blood of the earth;
so do I see you dare to direct your gaze
up.

Now
take my lantern
and I’ll hold your hymns-

say it’s a good trade.
(it’s a good trade)

Behold then:
the field opening verdant in its laughter,
bathed in blossomscent,
how even the black dirt and red clay
sing under the sun
in their rushing to meet the mountains;

for winter will come again,
and still all will sing,
still all will sing.
Come,
for the river is deep, and wide;
the water clear, and cool.
I tell you my grace and yours was bartered between us
in these bending waves of wildwheat.

Have you forgotten?
This is an accord, in fact,
with the song aureate in all things.

I know you can hear it.

The dark washes off so easily,
so easily, my love,
so easily.

There was an old father in the desert,
a long time ago,
(have you heard this one?)
who stretched his hands toward heaven,
and told his disciple
as his fingers turned to dancing fire,

“If you will,
you can become all flame.”

No Spirits on Royal Street

“Well?”

Well what.

“You’re at the Monteleone.”

And?

“So write something.”

Oh, like it just came to you.

“My God, at least drink something.”

Do I need to tell you about inflation?

“Ha! Lord, please tell me
you’re not always this boring.”

Only when I want to be.
Requires some concentrated effort.

“Son, that sounds entirely exhausting.”

It is. But I’ll come back and buy us a round.

“Now that, I’d like to see,”
said Faulkner’s ghost.
“At your speed, son,
this place’ll be full-up of spirits by then.”

Thanotic

This is the final note,
this is where it all ends,
this is where it all goddamn ends.
And ends.
And ends.

This is the song divergent,
this is the souls’ reaping exigent;
this is the last pace before bloodlet-

ironscent tang in the dust
mingled,
oh yes.

This is the echochord of a sunset lightbreak;
this is your eulogy,
this is where you die.

This is where you
take
one
more
step-

for flame breeds fresh ash
and ash breeds a fertile ground.

Keep watching.

Exhalant

Stop. Shut it all out,
if you can.
I promise you won’t die.

Even the sun must set,
ships must be moored,
dogs come into the house,
oxygen and carbon dioxide exchange;

and garments of the day fall
so the blankets of night
can cover the dreams
of 100,000,000 minds.

The world wishes you not to sleep, nor to rise
(what a pitiful thing that cannot make up its mind)…

I can, though.

So kiss me as you will:

like a calculation of space
enumerating the differential
under the curve,

like a bonfire
writhing
in the apocalypse,

or even, if you prefer,
like the owl flies-
hunting softly in the dark.

Inheritance

If you go out into the land,
towards the wild, into the realm of no realm
with nothing but your own gospel,
as a disciple would:

First, unplug your devices. Shut them off.
I’m serious- put all that shit in your desk.
It’ll make you deaf and I’m, unfortunately,
speaking from experience.

Because then, if you’re careful,
if you’re quiet,
you have at least a chance to recover
what you’ve lost.

(if you’re alone, good
if you’re not, so be it
if you have a little one with you, hold their hand)

-listen-

Green things are sprouting from the ground in song
and voices of thunder gather on the horizon.

now this is where you say

“Shhh.
Close your eyes.
Can you hear them?
Can you hear them?”

What are they saying?
Can you hear them?