Chronoscope: K-Outland, Prologue

“Bullshit.”

The word rolled off her tongue like silk and judgment.

He stared back, unblinking for a moment in the challenge.

“Why.” More statement than question.

You,” she pointed, “are scared. Actually scared, and I’ll spare no veracity on your account. It’s pretty cute.”

“So?” A shrug. He stuck his pipe back in his mouth, tugged at his cowboy hat.

The breeze brushed at her cloak, draped over the stone chair.

The white tabernacle sat in a small clearing, long unused, in the low woods near the coast.

Light played down soft between layers of leaves.

“I know what you’re gettin’ at.”

“Do you now.”

Her leathers creaked as she crossed her legs.

She uncrossed them.

“Never did like doing that.”

“You do realize what the stakes are. Game’s kinda changed there, little killer.”

“Yep. We were talkin’ about you. Why d’you think I went ronin?”

“’Cause you got scared?” A dry smirk. Perhaps a touch of admiration.

“Focus now, little killer. You want to see, or not?”

The card danced through her fingers.

Their horses, tethered a little ways off, pawed the earth as they ate.

“Why do we keep comin’ here?”

“Yeah, now you’re gonna get all existential on me. Have you seen that shit on the outskirts lately? Christ, humor me here.”

He laughed. “What the hell do we deserve? Ever figure that one out?”

She snapped her fingers, and small blue flames danced across the air past his head.

A bird sang through the sudden silence.

His eyes narrowed. “This hat’s a relic, y’know. 20 X. Probably get a couple bags of rice for it, if I had the desire.”

“Do you?” The dry smirk given in return.

“What.”

“Have the… desire?”

“Just show me the—“ She slammed the card on the tabernacle.

“Knight of Wands.”

“Huh.” Like someone had just shown him an interesting rock.

Her eyebrow arched. “You know what this means?”

“I know it means any damn thing you want it to.” He tapped out his pipe, stowed it.

She stood. “It’s there for what you need, genius. Take it or leave it.” Started towards her horse.

He got up and debated following; she’d already thrown her saddle back on.

“Please. I’ve seen the face of God. He needed a shave. Next?”

He sighed, and followed to the horses.

She handed him the deck. “I’ve got more.”

He laughed quietly. “Somethin’ to remember you by?”

She tilted her head.

“You need objects for that?”

His arms found her, without warning, pulled her in.

Her hand twitched, in want of her gun.

Her breath caught, and the heat between them was a tangible thing.

“When you comin’ back to the Table?” he asked, softly.

Shrug. She let go and mounted up. “I dunno.” Her cloak didn’t hide her eyes.

He tied down his staff and got on.

She started to ride off.

“Hold on.”

She stopped. Tilted her head slightly.

“Hold on to what?”

“Just hold on. Ok?”

She turned, and nodded. Rode without looking back.

The air carried a faint mist with it through the sunlight. He took his pipe out, letting the horse take him in the general direction of his new destination.

He tamped it a few times before taking one long draw, and made little clouds in between the vernal air and the weight of everything else.

Continue?

K.O.
!
!
!

this tree reminds me of home;
if i sit here, i can’t hear anything else.
don’t step on a crack,
or you’ll break your mama’s back.

you’re ugly, your family’s poor,
no one cares what you say.

what do you want to be?
you can be anything;
follow your heart.

what if my heart is wrong?

come here- do you like that?
oh my god, that was like
the good parts of Revelations…
you left scratches on
my ribcage skin.

you smell like the Hanging Gardens.

i’m going to use you until you break;
i’m going to wrap thorns around you
and drink your blood.

i’m going to show you your pile
of broken failed foundations of tears;
and your pillars of light
no one else saw.

why did you stay with him?
jesus christ those scars.

more than my own life.
friend lover shield-bearer,
sovereign empress our kingdom,
headstones side by side.

i wish there was room.
i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry.
you’ll leave.
i’m damaged i’m stained i’m emptied out.

i think i could marry you.

yeah right.
jerk nerd preppie slut OCD failure.

can you see the skeleton outlines
where my cathedral glass
used to be?

I always thought
you reminded me
of a secret door
to some cavern in the desert.
I never cared too much
what was behind it.
that door, though, my god that door.

a million times
over and over and over and
over again.
mine.

in my dream, your hair was white,
and you still showed me
new constellations.

goodbye.

i forgot to figure out
what i want to be.

did you love?
did you?
not did you appear together
in public,
or try to impress the other,
or use someone
good-looking hey there.
but
did you climb the mountain
in the dead of winter
and give her your coat
and bring her food
and almost die
on your way back to the valley?
and no one saw and

what about tomorrow?

it’s dangerous to go alone;
take this.

go away.
i don’t need it-
put it back in your chest.
you’re bleeding.

i can’t, it doesn’t fit anymore.

i don’t have any more lives.
nothing makes sense.

does it have to?

9
8
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6
5
4
3
2
1

image

Absolution

everyone in this
defiled city
participates
in the dance of death

Not a blood sacrifice
on the altar of conquest;
not a dutiful chore
checked off with the groceries
and the collection plate,
and the towel-folding;
nor a stipulation,
nor a bargaining chip.

No.
Not a tool.

The vessel of our worship,
the unseen conversation
of tactile grace in the dance electric-

God damn you
and the way your back arches
when you pin up your hair;
I cannot get your stain
out of my soul.

I would trace my fingertips over your scars like a murderer’s over rosary beads.

You know better-
lightning can strike the same place twice;
shall I show you?

When
I have to come up for air,
or my hand is saying “come here”;
when
your forehead is touching the ground,
or you are knelt with hands folded-

Is that not all a kind of prayer?
Will we make one another beg
for forgiveness?
What is there to forgive? Shadows?

Shadows have no pulse.

So,
tell me…
how long has it been
since your last confession?

Bones

Then said Almitra,
“Speak to us of Love.”

were you born homesick?
why do you even have words
in this place?
it’s 2:37 AM inside you
here there is no clock
no slicing of time
there is no one here

to remember your first car
to call you Jezebel
to take down your blue ribbon
to pass you a plate of bitterness

that redwood
will not tie a weight around your heart
and make you thank him for it
the fog-blanket moving
will ask nothing of me
nor will it drain my self
and beat me for being empty

can you let yourself die?
you have known true nightmares
but… can you?

i don’t need that tree
for my self to live
i don’t need that fog
i don’t need your breath
inside me

but it would be nice

it would be nice to die / eventually
don’t you think?

i fear one day we may get lost
you and i
in the godhead of the wild
and uncover all the secrets
they’re afraid of.

credit: the author